Here you will revise the introductory paragraph of your Synthesis Essay. You wil

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Here you will revise the introductory paragraph of your Synthesis Essay. You wil

Here you will revise the introductory paragraph of your Synthesis Essay. You will use what you learned from our lesson on revision in week 4 and the lessons on the grammar topics we covered in this course.
For this assignment, paste your rough draft of your introductory paragraph into a Word document. Then, in the same document you will revise your intro paragraph by doing the following:
1. Apply the ARMS method from week 4 (Add, Remove, Move, Substitute).
For the Add step, consider the following: are all the components of an intro present? Do you start the paragraph with a hook to draw the reader in? Are all of the points you present in the body of your paper present in your introduction? Do you have a thesis statement at the end of your paragraph that can be supported with evidence?
For the Remove step, consider the following: Are there any unnecessary words or phrases? If you can remove words or phrases without changing the meaning of the sentence, remove them. Is there any info present in your intro that you do not explain/expand on in the body? If so, remove it. For the Move step, consider the following: do the points introduced in your intro follow the same chronological order in the body of your paper? In other words, does the first point you introduce after your hook correspond to the point of the first body paragraph? Does the second point you introduce correspond to the second paragraph? Does the third point you introduce correspond to your third body paragraph? If not, move them so they correspond. Also, is there any information in your introduction that is too detailed/specific to belong in an introduction? If so, can you move that information into one of the body paragraphs?
For the substitute step, consider the following: Reread your intro sentence by sentence and ask yourself if there are any words that can be made more specific. If there is a way to use an example to make something clearer, use it. Pay close attention to the word “it.” If you use the word “it” anywhere in your writing, try your very best to substitute for a more specific word. “It” can almost always be substituted, and using words that are more specific creates clearer, more impactful writing.
2. Now, edit the intro for grammar. Read through the paragraph sentence by sentence, and try to locate the following:
Any time you see a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), look at the second half of the sentence. If the second half of the sentence after the conjunction can be a complete sentence on its own, make sure you have a comma before the conjunction. If the second half of the sentence after the conjunction cannot be a complete sentence on its own, make sure you do not have a comma before the conjunction. In order to tell if the second half can be a sentence on its own, look to see if it has both a subject and a verb.
Check your sentences for fragments. Look at every sentence and ask yourself: “where is the subject and where is the verb?” If the sentence doesn’t have both, it is a fragment. Join it to a previous sentence or rewrite it to contain both subject and verb.
A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses (complete sentences that can stand alone) are incorrectly joined together with just a comma, instead of a coordinating conjunction (such as “and,” “but,” “or,” etc.) or a semicolon. Read through every sentence. If you see two pieces of a sentence joined with a comma, check to see if they are both independent clauses. If they are, they need more than just a comma to link them. Add a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon, or break them into two sentences.
A fused sentence, also known as a run-on sentence, occurs when two independent clauses (complete sentences) are joined together without any punctuation or conjunctions. Read through each sentence, and look for sentences in which both parts of the sentences could be complete sentences on their own. Add a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon, or break them into two sentences.
!!!!!!!!!!!*****PLEASE NOTE: To receive credit for the assignment, you must clearly indicate each revision that you make by adding a comment onto each sentence that you add/change/remove/revise using the comment feature in Word. If you cannot use the comment feature in Word, you may insert parentheses after each sentence that you add/change/remove/revise explaining what change you made. Either way, by using the comment feature or parentheses, you must explain what change you made. This step is the most important. You may not make revisions without indicating clearly each revision that you made.

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